Struggles

Kaay so i havent been on blogger in like forever just decided maybe i should come here to let out my feelings! UGHHH so much drama be goin on. Dont know what to do with this huge crush i have on my bestfriend:S i have liked him for a really long time and decided maybe it would be good to tell him but things turned completely the wrong waayy!:( i feel so depressed and it hurts to know hes changing with me. We talk and stuff but it just isnt the same. i want him to know that im still his bestfriend and i will always treat him like my bestfriend because i respect his feelings and i know he doesnt feel the same way but why does he tell me that he doesnt want things to change and den he fucking goes and lies and treats me like im nothing anymore. I dont know what to do anymore and it really hurts me because i love him alot as a friend and i didnt want this to ruin to our friendship. I try tlkin to him but nothing works. On the other hand school sucks hate it soo mucch wiissh i could just graduate and leave and do whatever i want. Life is pretty wack cant wait till summer maybe things will get better. Things at home are alright like my mom knows im depressed but she doenst know why and shes kinda mad that i wont tell her. Im so confused about so many things and i wish i just could get all the answers im tired of crying and tired of feeling like im not worth anything. I try and try to make things good but they just get worse and worse every night i go to sleep with this feeling of emptyness and i wish it would go away. I wanna feel happy for once and feel normal. I dont get what i do wrong but things just dont work out for me. I think i deserve some type of happiness and i want to find it. I want to be happy and i know i can only find it but its hard when others just give me advice like " oh just forget about it. MOVE ON!:@." Dont people get that i cant move on, nd tryin to forget this guy is like trying to forget someone yu've never even met its impossible. People dont get my feelings, and as much as i try to put on a face of happiness the sadness overcomes me. I might sound overdramatic and crazy but i dont care. I know what im feeling and they say time will heal the scars, but i feel like time is frozen.

Life is hard thats all i gotta say

Long time

Well its been a long time since ive been on this not alot has happened since i last wrote
same drama still goin , lots of things running throught my mind , highschool is closing in
and im scared to whats gonna happen, wish things would just be easier.
With my love life it still sucks like crazy, even though im crazy in love with this guy
and i dont know how to tell him:SWell upcoming things is that im dancing on the 25
somewhere in mississauga kinda nervouse but im gonna do good.
Thats practically it, ill keep writing.

Best Day Ever

Long time havent blogged got so much to talk about. For one thing school is almost over im so sad and happy at the same time, high school is coming up and so is SUMMER!!!:) School is gettin sorta intresting lots of the things going on , alien fingers and stupid acien chick are still together UGGHH!! but oh well because i think i like someone else but thats a diffrent story. Dont know what to do wif alien fingers though theres always a part of me that likes him but idk like i feel wierd sometimes wif him cause he has a girlfriend but he still does things wif me i dont like ,like honestly hes getting to touchy and really pissing me off , like i love him cause hes my friend and all but like somethings he does i dont like, things are good dont really have major problems right now. So another thing goin on right now is that yesterday i went to wonderland wif my loves , valen , valer, gustavo, and kevin. well it was the best time i have ever had at wonderland , For one thing i like blue eyes (dis guy) hes so sweet , sexxy , adorable and did i mention so cute. Hopefully things work out wif me and him. We met some really cool people there like juan manuel. Had the best time there will never forget it , qq sexxo!!!lmaoo fun times. Me and valeria are pretty good agian thank God no more problems, hopefully we can forget about that. I got sorta lucky yesterday at wonderland , alot of cute guys looked at me and valeria, we had a really good time there, we rode so many rides. I got to spend alot of time wif my loves and hopefully we will do that agian, cant wait to see blue eyes agian. Hopefully what valeria told me she would do will work, i really like him. Thats sorta whats going on right now in my life i'll keep writing!

My Day:)

Well life is okaay right now, not alot of problems. Well i was wif my fishy today very funny, Fries didnt wanna get eating LMAOO!! Inside joke. School was normal , its school so honestly nothing new. nothing really to write about so i'll write later if anything!!

Scared Ass hell

Hi well i know that i havent blogged in about 2 days but been pretty busy. Well this weekend was very intresting. On Friday i went to carasauga really fun and came home slept woke up i hanged out wif my lover. Then in the afternoon i went again to carasauga really fun was wif my bestie andrea and aleja. We went home around 12 was really tired. The way i was woken up on sunday was really something AT 4 IN THE MORNING!!! all i hear is my mom coming into the room telling me something very sad. I ran out cant really say what happened but just i thank God it wasnt anything seriouse. i went back to sleep around 6 and woke up around 11, i ate my favorite breakfast, spanish breads(really good)I went shopping got some new clothes really cute.Well head up my penguin im here for you dont worry. I dont know what i would of done if anything happend to her.Well school was fun, even though my bumb wasnt there , it was still fun wif blond kid, Ryan gave me a headache wif the soccer ball , but oh well blondy made me feel better. thats all that happened today blog later

Sick

Well im sick today :( bummer!! I was gonna go to landds wif my penguin buddy but i didnt have enough money, according to Penguin didnt have enough monday!!LMAO i love her. Well today i might go to the movies wif some friends, hopefully goes well. I dont feel really good so i dont know how its gonna go but oh well. Yesterday was Carasauga really cool bought some cute colombian things. I love my parents even though sometimes they piss me off like crazy. Im still having problems wif valeria, were not talkin like at all. I wish things would get better wif her. Thats my day so far I'll write later for more!